i don't remember much. Just sadness, loss, and pain. It was dark and I was at my desk. I don't remember how she got there. But she was there. I only remember her cries. They bellowed throughout the second floor halls in Russel Towers.
"I miss you!"
"I miss you too."
"Come back Hayben!"
I wrapped my arms around her and told her i missed her so much and that I think about her all the time. Her head was buried in my shoulder as I held her tightly. I could feel that area of my shirt slowly start dampening from her tears. I was crying with her now. I was thinking about all those days I would see her and hug her. Until the days gradually faded only to memories. Sure she was only five, but that five year old was a part of my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night crying. I haven't woken up in tears since i was a child. I didn't like that dream.

Anyway,
I went to Salem State College's open house on Saturday and got some valuable information. My plans have now seemed to have changed for the better. I've decided to skip the North Shore step. I'm planning on transferring to Salem State this Spring as "undeclared" and take some music classes there. I'll also be taking some voice lessons at home. I plan on auditioning for the Music school either next Fall or Spring. I filled out SSC's application, requested my FSC transcripts be sent to SSC, contacted Julie Montague regarding my High School transcripts, and sent out my SAT scores today when i got back from Writing. I cannot believe I've actually got the ball rolling to my MUSICAL future......FINALLY!!!! I just have to send in and confirm a few things and then I'm gonna play the college waiting game....AGAIN.
Wish me luck!